MY LIFE IN MY OWN WORDS

Man you really did a number on me this time around. No matter how I try and God knows I have tried, I just can't get you out of my mind. I can't sleep , I can't think , I can't function.I am so fucking pissed ! Why do you do this to me? I am sure you are now back in his arms and once again I am left to figure out what this was all about and left to try and rebuild once again the little bit of a life I had left after you deserted me the last time. I hate you for what you have done! I wish I could fall asleep and forget you , I wish I could just erase you, I wish I wish but I can't , I can't and I blame you for this pain and anger I feel deep inside my body . My blood boils and my fists are clenched. I HOPE YOU CAN SLEEP, CAUSE I CAN'T!

You come in and out of my life like a thief in the night. There is no room in your world for someone such as me. Yet you reach out to me in time of need perhaps even loneliness. I too am a person with heart , flesh and blood , I also hurt I also cry. I can not and will not let you do this to me AGAIN! I can't I won't be a part of your mad existence and fantasy that you have created for your self.I am not your fall guy. I am not the fool I once was. Good luck to you and God bless.

Dad calls me to tell me mom is driving him crazy. Mom calls me in tears to tell me she is thinking of leaving dad. My sister calls me complaining about one brother , the other brother complains to me about the other. One of my best friends calls me to tell me his wife doesn't love him and they are getting a divorce. My other friend wants to drown his sorrow with a bottle.Mom says out of all her kids I am the only one she can talk to, my friends say the same. I ask this one question , who is then left for me to call? I am surrounded by family and friends and yet I feel so alone.Where is my shoulder to cry on, where is my confidant. I guess that is my burden , my cross. I have always been a good listener , I have always cared about others and their difficulties. All I ask for is that just one I would like to be able to speak and be heard.