MY LIFE IN MY OWN WORDS

Sometimes I’m driving and thoughts go through my mind .if I drive right into a wall or guardrail on the highway all my pain will be over . These thoughts are more and more frequent these days . I don’t believe I have the guts or courage to do it but honestly , I wish I did . A split second and it will all be over . But the thought of my elderly parents having to deal with my demise and the heartache they would have to endure stops me from going through with it . My only concern is that for a split second a fraction of a second , I actually plan for it. 

 The little orange wonder and my little blue pill . I lay here every night . When sleep comes hard I reach out for another .my cocktail for the evening . My mind won’t rest my eyes are heavy and my heart is pounding against my chest . And I wait for the sandman that seems to never come . Some nights Im at the point of feeling intoxicated . Severe morning headaches . My nightly routine . I wish I desire , I  dream of a night of sleep .