MY LIFE IN MY OWN WORDS

Remember when we used to dream? Remember when we were in love? Recently although indirectly, you came into my life. I loved you for so long and for long after that I hated you. You will never know the impact you had in my life. You are now happy and with your own life. I hated you for what you did but most of all I hated you for what you made me become. Someone close to you and I contacted me recently and although at first I was happy I now wish she hadn't! You broke my heart, the pain I felt for so long I will never forget. The tears I cried, the sleepless nights, the sorrow I felt can not be described. I will never forget you or what you did; ironically I can never forget how much I loved you. I would have killed for you; I would have died for you. I would stare out my window towards yours in the hope you would see me and somehow we would be able to pick up where we left off. Dreams don’t come true I know that now. I wish I could tell you what I felt for so long, how m

Wow I can't believe I am 46 , I mean I don't feel like I am . Truth be told I feel much older at times. Constantly I am told I look younger. I used to believe it but now I think people just say that cause they feel that is what you want to hear. I spent the evening with my son the best gift I could ever receive. He is back at home with his mom and I am about to go to bed alone. Another year older and another year alone.The older I get the harder it seems to be alone.But what do I do about it? I know I can't be with anyone for reasons known only by my closest.I could never replace what is lost nor could I ever regain what is gone. The years go by and the lines on my face more prominent.My parents have aged and I am not far behind.Another year older , no candles no cake no balloons.