The wall that ends my pain

Sometimes I’m driving and thoughts go through my mind .if I drive right into a wall or guardrail on the highway all my pain will be over . These thoughts are more and more frequent these days . I don’t believe I have the guts or courage to do it but honestly , I wish I did . A split second and it will all be over . But the thought of my elderly parents having to deal with my demise and the heartache they would have to endure stops me from going through with it . My only concern is that for a split second a fraction of a second , I actually plan for it. 

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