ME & BOBBY MCGEE.


Busted flat in Baton Rouge.

A long country drive is good for the soul . Just get out of the city;
I do this occasionally, by myself, only because there is no one to share the ride with. I pull out an old CD, Janis Joplin’s greatest, skip to track five and I am instantly transported back in time.
Busted flat in Baton Rouge, waiting for a train and I feel as faded as my jeans.
Those words resonate through my mind like if the song was written for me.
Baton Rouge is right here, right now for me!
Faded I feel, actually more like transparent almost invisible.
I feel my foot heavy on the gas and I wonder ,has anyone ever felt this but me?
I listen to every word. Every word is telling me their story.

The sun is bright and I feel it burn through the windshield, windows down I feel a cold chill in the air. I stare at the road ahead into the horizon. I imagine this is the place, she sang about, I slip on my shades to cover my eyes from the blinding rays.
Once more, I feel the pedal sinking deep into the floor.
I turn up the volume a couple of notches, lean back and I am lost in time.
Freedom is just another word when there is nothing left to loose, but it aint nothing if it aint free. How true the price I have paid for freedom, the price we all pay for freedom. How can I even call this freedom, when I am such a prisoner of my past?

She let him slip away, she says. He is looking for a home and she hopes he finds it.
She took his love for granted and now he is lost.
Finding a home, my ultimate goal in life ,I believe.
Not just a home, but my home ! my quest continues.
She feels the pain, but wants the best for him.
Has anyone felt this for me?I ask myself.
She says she would trade all of her tomorrows for one single yesterday, to be holding Bobby’s body next to hers.
God! I have so many yesterdays I want back .I don’t have enough tomorrows to trade.I have felt this many times.
So many memories of my past overshadowed by darkness, but the few bright ones I would relive repeatedly if I had just one wish.
There is however one particular time, one day, a very special moment that will forever remain engraved in my mind.
I can see it as if I was staring at a still photo of that very moment.
I will not reveal it for I am afraid of it being lost if I do.
The only time I felt true love, the only time I felt warmth and the only time I felt needed.
As it was it lasted maybe minutes perhaps mere seconds, I don’t know for certain, but I do know what I felt !

I drove on and the song ended.
Reality is a cold reminder of the time we have lost.
I can’t bring back time, but if I could I would for that one instant of my life when I felt the ground bellow me drop and my body felt weightless.

Ironically enough I now know, that the feeling was not shared.
The love I felt was not reciprocated. I know it now, but for one little moment in time I felt it, real or not I felt it I wish I could feel it once more.

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