If I had a wish!

I wish to go away.
Run from my problems and hide for a day.
Forget all my worries and leave them behind, forget they exit and freedom is mine.
Alone on a journey, a journey of hope, a trip full of wonder and not the end of a rope.
Peace is what I am after. Happiness ever after.
Depression my worst foe anxiety it has its hold.
That is what I fear and I fear it the most, is there no escape to a land with the most.
I fear for my family, I fear for my friends, I think of my problems, will they ever end.
I raise my cup and I make a toast, I have one drink and feel I want this,
I want this the most.
I dream of a land so far away, a land full of wonder and a land without hate. .
Is there such a place? Is there any hope?
I stay optimistic but I want one more smoke.
It is killing me, that I know, but I long for the drink and I long for the smoke.
I want to get away leave it behind, the pain the suffering but mostly the wine.
What a dream, a dream to be hold, a dream nonetheless, and a dream to be told.
I have not given up, but I have been close.
A window open another door closed.
The finish is near but uncertain it is, when I cross that line that had better be it.

Comments

  1. AnonymousMay 10, 2007 at 11:22 AM

    Have you heard of EFT?

    website: www.emofree.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. bookem, dannyMay 10, 2007 at 6:02 PM

    someday a star will beam upon a moss gray stone,
    and trace a name in silver beams,
    and it will be your own,
    a little blame, a little fame,
    a laugh lest you may moan,
    a little pain, a little shame,
    a star gleam on a stone.

    ReplyDelete
  3. phaseoutgirlMay 21, 2007 at 3:43 PM

    " a window open another door closed"... i feel excatly the same... but then life goes on, doesn't it? we just need to look at the positive side of it...

    cheer up, everything will be well..

    :-)
    Cecilia

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMay 30, 2007 at 4:14 AM

    this really struck a chord with me... well done and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

    The best way to get through anything is to tackle it one bit at a time.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pushed over the edge.

Image
Here I sit late at night my meds kicking in almost time for bed but time yet for one more smoke. What a hellish day I had, how do I always let people talk me into doing things I don’t want? Three fucking hours in bumper-to-bumper trafic. Metal, plastic and the smell of burning rubber in what must have seemed like 40 Celsius. Two screaming kids in the back and my anxiety medication was not doing it today after popping four Advil’s for my migraine that wasn’t cutting it either. All I could think about , between the screaming kids and the never-ending traffic. How badly I wanted to pull my car over to the shoulder to a screeching halt step out light a smoke and walk away from it all forever. The job search the uncertainty its all coming to a head if the kids hadn’t been in the car I would have driven into the first tree I could find. I don’t know, man what a fucked up day three hours just to sit on a dirty windy beach crowded with masses of common people like hoards of cattle. I despised
Read more

Volcano...

My head is heavy and my heart is sad. I hold in my anger , I try to bottle it up but I am afraid .I fear when it reaches it's boiling point it will blow without warning or control. My life is like a volcano , laying dormant for a long time , bubbling inside and temperatures rising. I have felt the tremors many times I feel the pressure , my head feels like it will blow at any second.I fear for the outcome . I fight day and night to keep it under control. I pray for guidance and strength, it is all I can do....
Read more

What else is there?

What else is there ? I have a great job , a great house , a nice car good friends and family. Yet I still long , I still search and for what? Why am I still so unhappy? Sadness is in my heart , pain takes over .Time goes by . I see my parents getting old , I see my son growing up becoming a young adult. I see my life slipping away , I feel like crying but the tears won't come. What is the meaning? what is the point? I work day and night for all I have . I work day and night to provide for my son. I have it all people say , I wish I had what you have people say. I wish I was more like you people say. All the while I am thinking I would give it all up if I could , if I could just figure out what I would give it all for! God has a plan I keep telling myself. God will show me the way I keep telling myself. I just wish God would give me a hint a clue a sign. Anything , anything before another gray hair before another wrinkle before another sleepless night!
Read more