MY LIFE IN MY OWN WORDS

My heart is broken  My soul bleeds  The blood in my veins sour  Every breath excruciates pain   My body aches and my bones fragile  The endless torture of my memories  I pray for days to end  Sleep my only confort Awake I suffer  Time is my only enemy  How I wish I could turn back time  My thoughts run wild  A love that could have been  A life stolen from under my feet  If waking was an option the choice would be clear .

 You came into my life at my worst moment . Like a knight in shining armour . My heart was broken and you filled it with hope . Just when I was about to give up all together , you rescued me from the clutches of my pain .  You gave me a reason to live a reason to laugh a reason to hope and a reason to love again . I thought to myself  . Where has this man been all my life ?  A life full of dispar and heartache . You gave me a reason to wake up in the morning . No longer did I wish for an endless sleep . No longer did I pray for death to come in the middle of the night . You had awaken my desire to love again . But then you let me down and you broke me again . My knight in shining armour was no more . Now I sit and cry , my eyes are dark and sore , my heart aches . My body aches my head hurts and my spirit is broken . You held the light of hope and now that flame has burned out . I’m lost again , I’m alone again . I fear now to go to sleep . I fear that I might not wake . I gave you all

 I haven’t written anything in a while , I just haven’t had the strength . It’s now late May 2024 and I have come complete circle from two years ago . My partner has left me again . He claims I’m competing with his family . I ask , how am I competing with them when they see you six days a week and I see you one ? If anything they are competing with me I said ! Basically he broke up with me through text messaging and email . After almost seven years he didn’t even have the decency to at least speak to me about it in person or on the phone  .  I’m going through a mix of emotions . First there was confusion . Then sadness . Then a great deal of anger . First I was angry with him and then I was angry with myself . I’m angry with him for lying and betraying my trust . I’m angry with myself for allowing him to do do it . I tend to think more with my heart and less with my head . Now I cry almost everyday . I’m fighting the demons , I’m feeling desperate , I’m staring deep into the rabbit  ho