MY LIFE IN MY OWN WORDS

What is love ?  Love is when you miss someone even though you just saw them . Love is when when you can't get the smile on their face out of your mind . Love is when you are down and that person brings you up . Love is when you think about that person when you fall asleep and when you wake. Love is when you are having the worst day and that person says I love you and all your problems go away . Love is when when you touch that person and you feel it in every bone in your body. Love is when you kiss that person and you wish that kiss would never end . Love is when your heart races at just the idea of looking into each others eyes . Love is when you are running late and that person patiently waits . Love is when someone asks why do you love me and you don't even have to think about an answer . These are just some of the reasons as to what I think love is  . And there are so many more ...

Depression . How do I describe it ? Well I'll tell you what it means to me . When I think about it I guess I've been dealing with it probably since I was about ten or so . Maybe even earlier than that . Starting from when I was sexually abused by a family friend  , that's probably my first recollection of the start of it . It was only once but it certainly left a scar . I'm not even sure how old I was maybe seven or eight? I can't really recall . I do remember however the feeling of guilt and shame . The next time I can recall feeling depressed , was when my family moved to Canada from South America . I can recall the deep sadness in my uncles eyes my mothers brother whom I loved so dearly and always looked up to . He was crying and hugging me saying goodbye , I was just ten but I can remember the overwhelming feeling of sorrow . Confused and afraid because I didn't fully grasp that I may never see this man ever again . Then after what seemed an eternal fl

It's been a long time since I last wrote . I have sat in front of the computer countless times and either didn't have the courage or could not find the right words . Not that I didn't have anything to say , on the contrary there is so much that has happened in the past few years . So much that it's a bit overwhelming . I'm perplexed with thoughts and emotions . I've had a troubled and turbulent life , but I have to be honest and tell you that the last few years have been the most stressful and the most painful of all. Let me take you back . To a time perhaps of weakness or maybe vulnerability , I found myself l with the mother of my son . The woman that caused me so much pain was now the person I embraced. After a rekindled romance I once again fell victim to my fantasy. My illusion of what I thought happiness meant. To be with and part of a family once again. It all started as most relationships do , however it was all short lived . As the saying goes , the h

A perfect world ... People look and people judge . It's human nature to be curios . But people judge simply because they don't understand . Who are they to question one persons love for another ? It's easy to be cruel it's much harder to be kind . If people would just look at their own lives first and try to fix what's broken there . Maybe then they wouldn't be so focussed on the happiness of others . They judge because they don't understand . They wonder why , how ? How can one man love another ? I guess at one time I also questioned it . But always kept an open mind . Now I know !  Love really has no boundaries . Love is love and the heart wants what the heart wants ! I wish I could make people understand , family friends . But why , why should I care ? Some days I do other days I don't . But I do wish for a world where everyone is accepted equally regardless of race gender or sexual orientation . But a world such as this is no