My phones never rings anymore

 Three and a half years of my life wasted . When we met I had reservations about our age difference . But after you told me you loved my , I was in heaven . I fell for you hard .

You didn’t have much money and you were young . I took care of you . I payed for all our trips . I helped you in many times of needs . Because , well that what you do when you love someone . Now you are doing well opening your own business your own barbershop . I payed for your school helped you set it up . And now after all this time you have no time for me . I feel like a fool . I cry daily I’m so depressed .

I don’t even want to live at times . I am a mess and you don’t give a shit . Did you ever love me ?  Or did you just like me taking care of you ?

I am so sad so hurt , I often go to sleep and pray I don’t wake up . A few nights ago I was staring at my meds and was hold a pill bottle in my hands  and I was trying to get the courage to end ny suffering . But I could not do it . But it hasn’t left my mind . You hurt me you destroyed my world , my will to go on .

Remember this my love , God is always watching . I pray you never do this to anyone else . No one deserves this pain that I’m going through .

Thank you even if wasn’t real , thank you for the memories thank you for the time I got to share with you . But the pain of a thousand knives in my heart will go on for a long time .

You broke my heart my mind body and my soul .

The one night I told you I couldn’t live anymore I downed about 20 pills and what did you do ?

You fell asleep , well unlucky for me I guess it just wasn’t my time . Although I spent the rest of the day in emergency .

And you didn’t even bother to come to my rescue . 

I am a broken shattered reflection of the man I used to be and I owe that to you Nahil . I cry myself to sleep and pray that god relieves my pain . But he hasn’t been really on my side these last few years .

I will always love you 😥


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