Two magic pills!

Clonazepam and Imovane! They  are to be my only recourse to an otherwise long agonizing sleepless night. I am so dependent on them that I won't leave the house without them no matter where I go. They have become a part of who I am what ever I am they are my true friends . Both pills in my mouth and a downing of a large glass of water then sit an wait for my world to spin. The problem is that my world is spinning less everyday, my Dr says I have become used to them .

 I fear I may have become addicted to them. I won't sleep thinking I may run short on my supply. No longer can I time how long it will take from when I swallow till I am safely asleep in my bed." A DRINK "is what I need I tell myself, then another than another. But the drink is not my friend . Eventually I manage to get some rest but only to wake up with blood shot eyes and mayor dark bags under my eyes. I have never been one to sleep much , but how I long for the days of my youth when all it took was a comfy pillow and a warm blanket. 

The night mares still persist. The scars start to heal over the wounds from the war I fight. But the pain still remains , my mind scratches at the scars opening my wounds and the pain start again.  Time has not been good to me . Time hasn't healed all my wounds. I look old I feel old and every bone aches. One day I tell my self, one day I will be able to sleep , I only pray I am lying in a warm bed and not under six feet of dirt!

Comments

  1. LaviniaApril 19, 2008 at 4:27 AM

    I found your blog via dave mcmahon authorblog. There is alot to read, peruse, and digest on your blog.

    Interesting reading; I hope that the creative expression that your blog affords you, is helpful to you.

    I will be back to read more.

    Best wishes,

    Lavinia

    ReplyDelete

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