Volcano...

My head is heavy and my heart is sad. I hold in my anger , I try to bottle it up but I am afraid .I fear when it reaches it's boiling point it will blow without warning or control. My life is like a volcano , laying dormant for a long time , bubbling inside and temperatures rising. I have felt the tremors many times I feel the pressure , my head feels like it will blow at any second.I fear for the outcome . I fight day and night to keep it under control.
I pray for guidance and strength, it is all I can do....

Comments

  1. Mrs MacJune 23, 2007 at 2:02 PM

    I live in the zigzag too.

    I'm in the middle at the moment. Trying not to slip downwards takes a fight some days, and I worry that the mental effort will exhaust me, and that that exhaustion will cause the downward spiral. When to fight it and when to let it flow through me. Ah, there's the rub.

    So these are the things I have to try to remember- I pass it on, but you'll know it already-

    Striving makes it worse. Have some days when you are gentle on yourself. Sleep lots, drink lots of water. Take walks, just sit outside. Ignore what anyone else thinks, don't even ask yourself what they think. Turn off as much as you can. Does your computer ever switch into Safe Mode? That's what your head is needing to do- essential processes only. The rest needs rest.

    Sending hugs.

    Hang on in there. Remember, all things pass.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AmelJune 26, 2007 at 1:07 AM

    Let go of the anger...bit by bit...over and over and over...

    If possible, solve the problem with the people involved. If not, then let go...just let go...

    I'm also trying to let go all the bad emotions in my heart as I don't think confronting the people involved in them would do any good as they were only my feelings.

    May the Lord grant you serenity and a way out...

    ReplyDelete
  3. VictoryaJune 26, 2007 at 1:28 AM

    You're words show the beauty and the pain. Beware the downward spiral, that's what I fight against.

    I tagged you with the thinking blogger's meme: http://victoryachasegoestotherapy.blogspot.com/2007/06/tag-im-it.html

    Keep your voice strong and happiness will shine through.

    ReplyDelete
  4. VictoryaJune 26, 2007 at 1:28 AM

    You're words show the beauty and the pain. Beware the downward spiral, that's what I fight against.

    I tagged you with the thinking blogger's meme: http://victoryachasegoestotherapy.blogspot.com/2007/06/tag-im-it.html

    Keep your voice strong and happiness will shine through.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pushed over the edge.

Image
Here I sit late at night my meds kicking in almost time for bed but time yet for one more smoke. What a hellish day I had, how do I always let people talk me into doing things I don’t want? Three fucking hours in bumper-to-bumper trafic. Metal, plastic and the smell of burning rubber in what must have seemed like 40 Celsius. Two screaming kids in the back and my anxiety medication was not doing it today after popping four Advil’s for my migraine that wasn’t cutting it either. All I could think about , between the screaming kids and the never-ending traffic. How badly I wanted to pull my car over to the shoulder to a screeching halt step out light a smoke and walk away from it all forever. The job search the uncertainty its all coming to a head if the kids hadn’t been in the car I would have driven into the first tree I could find. I don’t know, man what a fucked up day three hours just to sit on a dirty windy beach crowded with masses of common people like hoards of cattle. I despised...
Read more

What else is there?

What else is there ? I have a great job , a great house , a nice car good friends and family. Yet I still long , I still search and for what? Why am I still so unhappy? Sadness is in my heart , pain takes over .Time goes by . I see my parents getting old , I see my son growing up becoming a young adult. I see my life slipping away , I feel like crying but the tears won't come. What is the meaning? what is the point? I work day and night for all I have . I work day and night to provide for my son. I have it all people say , I wish I had what you have people say. I wish I was more like you people say. All the while I am thinking I would give it all up if I could , if I could just figure out what I would give it all for! God has a plan I keep telling myself. God will show me the way I keep telling myself. I just wish God would give me a hint a clue a sign. Anything , anything before another gray hair before another wrinkle before another sleepless night!
Read more