Lonely days sleepless nights. Thoughts running through my mind. How I missed you , how I longed for you. Many tears , would fill an ocean . Eyes red and face tired . God how I loved you! I know those days are gone and still I cry , I cry in silence . Desperate pleas . I pray and I beg our dear Lord . I ask time and time again ,why can't she love me ? Why ,won't she love ? No longer needed I feel . Time did not stand still for you . you lived life and you loved another .But my love did not waiver . My heart still in pain . I have reached out , I have said and done all I can . Still you don't love me . Time you say , time is all you need , you say it's too soon .
Years and years have gone , I am feeling old and not looking younger . So many years wasted. I would give twenty years to get the last ten back if I could only share them with you .
JUST ONE MORE PILL
About a month ago that’s exactly what I said to myself . Depression rearing it’s ugly head again the beast was back . The struggle was just too much to bear . The day , the week , the month had not gone well . It was becoming obvious to me I was about to hit the wall . The pain in my chest was ominous . I knew it , the train was coming but I could not get off the tracks . I just wanted to sleep it off . Or maybe I just didn’t want to wake up again . My usual dose didn’t cut it , my head spinning out of control . One more pill I told myself , just one more and I’ll just sleep it off . I’ve had this feeling before . This time however the thought of not waking up was actually satisfying in some way . One more pill I told myself again and again and again . I honestly lost count and as a drifted into nothingness , I was praying it would be enough to end my suffering . I don’t think I was trying to end my life but at the same time I welcomed the outcome . Needles to say my sorrow ...
Hello. logged in after a long time...a sadness filled my heart to see this post,hope everything is okay with you now?
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Autre