MY BROKEN HEART

Are you able to look back at your life , ever think back to a time when your heart was broken? I can. I can think of a time a place a day and a moment frozen in time. it felt as thought someone reached into my chest cavity ,with bare hands it was torn open . My heart was taken and ripped to shreds. I can still feel the pain . God how it hurts. They say time heals all wounds , I say not true! Some wounds can never heal. My pain will not heal not until my heart stops beating and even then I question it. I sometimes believe that I am doomed damned if you will. A life sentence for the crimes I have committed. What crimes you ask? I wish I could tell you . I figure I must have done something wrong to upset the higher powers . I must have been a terrible person in a past life . I have been afflicted by pain and sorrow most of my adult life. I haven't slept a full night in years. I recently visited my Doctor and renewed my prescription. I haven't taken and sleep aids for many years , however my body is giving out. I am tired and I feel sick. I haven't taken one yet . I am not sure why . maybe I am afraid, afraid because I remember what it was like. I could not leave the house without them. I feared running low , I feared the night without my friend. The little blue pill that brought me so much comfort and solace. God I just want to sleep!!!!!!! My head races my heart beats without rhythm. many nights I simply cried myself to sleep. I sometimes think , if only i could let go , let go and live . Alas I can't . The love that I felt and feel till this day for this woman,is simply immeasurable. I now know she no longer loves me and I question if she even cares in the least. She told me last night , I do not love you , I don't feel what you feel, I don't even think about you at all. God the pain , oh the pain my broken heart has suffered so much and yet it is still able to suffer even more. God I do not want to die , but I do not want to live this life.My eyes hurt the tears they burn.My body is tired Lord.Many nights I wished you would come for me. But I know I can't let go , I can't for my son. I wish nit the same pain for him. For I know this is the pain he would have to fear if I were to stop bleeding. So for that reason my Lord I beg you , let me continue the suffering if it means my son's happiness.

Comments

  1. Mobile App DevelopersNovember 21, 2015 at 9:13 PM

    It was very useful for me. Keep sharing such ideas in the future as well. This was actually what I was looking for, and I am glad to came here! Thanks for sharing the such information with us.

    ReplyDelete
  2. App Development BangaloreJanuary 21, 2017 at 7:16 AM

    It was very useful for me. Keep sharing such ideas in the future as well. This was actually what I was looking for, and I am glad to came here! Thanks for sharing the such information with us.

    ReplyDelete

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