MY LIFE IN MY OWN WORDS

You can only kick a dog so many times before it will turn and bite. This dog has been kicked enough , all those that are thinking of kicking proceed with caution. Let me fill you in on the latest.So my sons mother calls Thursday night around 9;30 pm, oddly enough when she calls which is not often anymore she always calls after my son has gone to bed. Every time I ask to speak to him the answer is he is sleeping , OK ,I say. She process to tell me hoe this year our son soccer schedule is somewhat conflicting , what do you mean? I say.Well they are playing on Wednesday instead of Tuesdays for the first time in Three years. Oh, I see where this is headed, so she proceeds to offer graciously that she is willing to pay for his soccer if I switch my visitation to Tuesday. Yes here we go again people.Well of course unless you want to take him? she says. What ? did I hear right? I jumped on it ,of course I will take him it's my day anyway I would love to .But what about the cost? she asks....

My son's holy Communion will take place in two weeks, and I was just informed by his Mom that I was allowed to attend ( allowed ? ).Yep she actually said that, and she wanted to let me know that her Family and boyfriend will be there also , she wanted to know if I was going to be there ,and that I had no choice as to who attended.( she meant her "boyfriend") Last time I checked the church welcomed all, I don't believe last time I was there I had to get permission from anyone. I will attend my son's Communion even if the Pope himself said I couldn't go. It won't be easy that is for sure . I am not looking forward to seeing her family and boyfriend all together living the lie of a perfect family. But I will put on brave face and stand there proudly for my boy. The biggest issue here is that his Communion happens to be on my access weekend , and by right I should be the one calling her with the details. But because we live in a society that automatically labe...

Happy 42! It was one of the best birthdays ever. It was the first birthday since my separation and divorce that I was able to see my son. It just happened to fall on the day of my visitation with him. Man was he happy! You would have thought it was his birthday.I picked him up from school then we went out to dinner to his favourite restaurant (not the golden arches) although at 8 years of age the arches is his favourite but I left it up to him and he insisted we go to our favourite place ,he also suggested we go to the Home Depot so he can pick something out for me, I told him that it wasn't necessary what an awesome kid. I am so stuffed that I had to take some pink stuff to settle my stomach , you see he insisted I go for the all you can eat ribs, and of course I had to order several refills and he got such a kick out of watching me stuff my face. We then shared an ice cream that came with gummy worms and he loved it( I love him so , I live for him). After that we went to our favo...

A few months ago after a long debate with my conscience , I decided that I needed to take stock of who the people around me were. I started with a female friend I had . I met this person not long after my marriage ended.A friend of a friend sort of thing, got us together. Man it seemed great at first someone actually wanted me and seemed to really care about me. Not long into this friendship we started dating.Needless to say , it should not have happened . I now know that I was not ready for this.Don't get me wrong she was and still is a wonderful person , like the Blue Rodeo song says, just bad timing that's all. I won't get into all of the dynamics of this relationship , it just would not be fair to her. She was such a great friend and I do miss her dearly.Unfortunately she eventually fell out of love with me. Heck who can blame her ? I put her through allot of crap. What with all the problems with my ex that still haunt me today.The fact that I had a child the fact that ...

I am posting this to allow others to try to see what I see. Since I was a kid I loved to color. I mostly love shapes, Circles and Triangles are my favorite . Each one of these unique pieces takes days to complete. It is very labour intensive . But it's a labour of love since I am able to express my deepest thoughts through these shapes and colors.I lose my self in them and try to express what I feel at that ,time . It's all free hand work and all colored in pencil (sounds like child play?) you say,but my back and my wrists will tell a different story as it takes hours and sometimes days for each one.I take it very serious . What is funny is that less than a handful of people that know me , are aware of my passions. It is very dear and private to me . Each one is done by hand ,drawn and colored by hand , they are each unique as it would be impossible for me to reproduce the same results each time. I love the way the shapes and different colors make me feel. And I hope you like t...

First let me say that a previous extremely long post was deleted somehow, it was very important as it led into this current post. I will try to fill you in since it seems to be gone for good .Thanks for your understanding. Well the saga continues, last Wednesday March 21st ( first day of spring) I get a call from my son's school, they tell me my son is in the office and he is not feeling well , I didn't even ask what the problem was all I said was , I am on my way. When I get there they proceed to tell me that it took them a long time to get hold of me because they didn't have authority from my ex to call me in case of an emergency,( are you confused?) I was. I raised my son ,I was his Mother and his Father. While my ex was screwing around ,I was at home taking care of our son and our house .Yes I am bitter but don't read into it . I did raise my son she was never home after he was born, she couldn't handle Motherhood . I didn't mind I love my son I fed him bath...

The woman I loved , now lies in some one Else's arms. The woman I loved has forgotten all the good times we had , all the laughs we shared all the pain we endured during our first few years together. We married in the mid 90s , we decided to wait a couple of years before we started a family.Little did we know how difficult this simple plan we had concocted would be to implement. It took three years for us to be able to conceive. The struggle the emotional roller coaster the pain we endured , no one could have foretold . At times I wondered myself , was this the will of God?. Are we not meant to become parents?. As it turned out there was a problem that needed a small surgical procedure to be performed on her. About a month after her surgery we were on our way to becoming proud parents of the most beautiful little boy I have ever seen. I always (naively) believed that things would change ,that she would change once we had a baby.I was never more wrong. Her anger ,her bouts with PMS ...