My shame

How do you forget the past? How do you let go of the hurt? How can I stop the pain?
I long for days gone by. Days when dreams we shared . Days when future plans included more than one. How can I feel so much love and feel so much pain. The tears come without warning.You have so much anger towards me till this day. I have fought so hard to forget.I know I can't just pretend but I also know , I can't go through this again!
God I have dreamed of the moment when my lips feel yours. When my hand caresses your skin.When our bodies entwined into one.How I have dreamed of the moment when you whisper , I love you . My heart fails to control it's rhythm every time my eyes set on yours.You fail to see , to see the love , the deep and utter admiration. You fail to see , to see my adoration , the adulation the affection the allegiance!
you do not see how my heart melts how my belly aches how my eyes fill with the tears of joy. You just can not see me at all. You look at me and see through me . You speak with judgement and mistrust. Where did we go wrong ? Why did I hurt you so? Why did you betray me so? God these tears won't stop , my love for you is without question. I feel nothing from you . Why ? why did you stop loving me? Did you ever love me?
The past full of shame the present full of pain and the future so unclear.
So many times I wished for a bullet, if I had the courage.I am a coward!
I must live with the guilt and shame . It is the price I must pay . Alone with a world collapsed at my feet!

Comments

  1. Nisha SSeptember 20, 2012 at 12:20 AM

    i can feel your pain...like its my own .. amazingly written .... u make me cry wid u

    ReplyDelete

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