The view we shared.

Ciao Bello she said, as I sat there waiting for the eminent dial tone. I took my time replacing the receiver to its base, but the end was here and it hit me like a tone off lead .The call was over, the idea was over the dreams we shared were over. The future plans we made were nothing, more, than just an illusive dream.

The tone still rings in my ear; the sadness in my heart worsens to point of agony.
Why do we keep doing this to ourselves, I gently asked her? Why do you keep scraping at the wound and eroding any possibility of any alleviation? “I don’t know” she answered... Those questions will for ever remain unanswered.

We talked for what seemed hours, we always do, men, we can both ramble on (I laugh when I think about it).I loved and I will miss our long conversations. We would sit up late at night sipping on a fine glass of our favorite wine a Red Shiraz ,
Carly Simon playing in the background, we seemed so perfect at times, maybe too perfect I guess. We were not like other couples.
You know when you go to a Restaurant or some function and you always notice that one couple that couple that despite their best intentions and their best attempt to masquerade their unhappiness, their lack of interest with each other tells a different story. you know the one!
The couple that stares in opposite directions never uttering a single word to each other let along a single glance; as if trying to avoid eye contact for fear that something terrible might occur. What might occur is the sad realization that they have nothing to say to each other, what ever love or force there was that brought them together years back, was now in the distant past.
We were never that couple! We always had something to say to each other, well, I did at least. She said she loved to hear me talk, and I loved her hanging on to my every word. She said I inspired her that I taught her so much about life, about Love happiness “and sorrow “I added.
Everything in life has a beginning but also an end.
There is no race with out a finish line... There is no novel without an end. There is no inception without a conclusion.
The end is always eminent, and yet we hold on to hope. We hold on because we are conditioned to think where there is hope there is always a happy ending.
Why else would we torture ourselves sitting through two hours of a Hollywood film where there is nothing but death and despair? Why? Because we know the end will be here soon, and the end will bring happiness, the bad guys get caught and the good guys live happily ever after. Only in a movie is the end a happy thought.
In real life the end brings sadness, it brings loneliness, desperation and emptiness.
But time they say will heal all wounds, but the scars that lay beneath the rejuvenated skin remain. The pain is unbeknownst to every one, but they are felt deeply by its proprietor. But what are we to do? Surely we can’t just give in! If we do the bad guys will win, if we do, there is no hope and no chance for resolution.
Closure it seems is all we ask for; even in battle there is no closure with out the remains of the brave soul. The remains brings an end, the end brings closure

Is that all we require? Is that what we strive for, the end? Well, I guess we can’t just keep running for ever, at least I know I can’t. I have run my last race. I am exhausted and reeling with pain. I ran and ran; I could see the finish line but would never reach the end. Well the end has now reached me, and despite my best attempts, I didn’t win the gold.
A lump of coal was my reward, which is what I feel in my gut. It’s weighing heavy in me. Dragging me down, I have to fight and somehow find the strength to right myself and begin the healing process. And like everything in life this story also has an end. This end is not a happy one, but than again it was not scripted by some rich Hollywood producer sipping café lattés at will. This story was lived by this brave soul, and now it is time for closure .it’s time to let the wounds appear to have healed. For inside the wound will run for a long time, it will exude. Eventually it will cauterize and with hope and time it will bind, and the bleeding will cease.

I hold on to hope, because hope brings aspiration. The alternative to hope is a though I refuse to entertain.

An now with Carly Simon playing in the background I say , Ciao Bella!
May you future, bring you all the happiness our short time together has brought me!